Speak Not, Silence Is Golden
by Hedonistic Opportunist
Summary: But I wish you'd confined your sorrows in me, instead of going to her. Angst.


**Speak Not, Silence Is Golden**

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**A/N**:

Well, I meant to write humorous pron for the lovely f-list that wants me to return to Naruto fandom, but ... yeah, it ended up being this :/. This was written in under an hour, so the quality is not top-notch, but I feel it's more raw and honest like this. The title is odd, but I mean it's better than calling this "Don't Speak"... so yeah.

The next fic will be happier - and more enjoyable XD (though not Naruto-related, sorry XD).

Review-wise, honesty is appreciated. Silly errors might be here, please forgive me.

--

"Hey, you mind if I sit down here?"

He throws a glance at him, not because there's anything special about the guy's appearance, but - in a nearly empty restaurant - it's more than a bit odd if you get chatted up by random strangers.

Besides, gnashing his teeth, he doesn't want to have anything to do with this _not so random stranger_.

"Naruto. Get the fuck out of here. I told you - I don't want to see you. Hell, I don't even-"

The blond nods. "I know - you don't even want to breathe in the same air as I do. But I had to see you, I had to — though it was hard to find you ever since you moved out ... "

Sasuke counts till ten, presses his fingers against his throbbing forehead and prays that his figurative string of control won't break yet. Although, as he clenches his fist, Sasuke thinks it's very tempting to slam said fist against Naruto's face. But, it's unbecoming to lose your temper in public, so Sasuke smooths his face into a look of perfect apathy. "Just get out of my sight."

Naruto, however, does nothing of the sort and sits down. The chair screeches slightly as he does so.

"I'm not going to leave till you've listened to what I have to say."

Sasuke huffs indignantly. "You pretty much said everything I needed to know when I caught you in bed with that - what's her face?"

He knows her name, but there's no way in hell he's soiling his tongue by speaking out those three God-forsaken syllables. _Fucking whore_.

"Besides, what can you tell me? We were together for four years and - when I need you the most, when my life's falling apart - the next best thing you do is just walk out on me and screw that - that good for nothing woman," Sasuke shouldn't say more, but it's at the edge of his tongue and he's shaking so furiously that he can hear his teeth clatter, "And you not only have the gall to do it with her, but you do it on our bed - and not only that, but you don't even lock the damned door, knowing that I'd walk in, knowing that I could come back home any time."

He can still see it before his eyes, that afternoon that happened four weeks ago. Sasuke remembers that he'd been happy before returning home - happier than he'd been in months. There had not been much to rejoice about, but it had been something. The doctors had said there was hope - even if only slight. He'd wanted to share that with Naruto, had gone to their bedroom wanting to surprise him, only to be greeted with one himself.

_(And it been a hell of a surprise too)._

Sasuke remembers that he felt numb and nauseous while he watched Naruto thrusting in and out of her, heard her moan like a bitch in heat and him grunting piggishly. Their joining was savage, savage and yet they were both so alive, so consumed by passion-lust that -

- if he'd not said a word, they wouldn't even have noticed him and would have gone on, continuing their private little dance session.

Naruto's face is pale and any grin he might have worn has slipped away; Sasuke just stares at him, hoping that it kills Naruto inside, hoping that the pain and despair he's been feeling will magically envelop that asshole and gobble him up. It's only fair because Sasuke doesn't how it's justifiable that he's the one who looks like shit when he's not done anything.

_(When he wasn't the one doing the fucking)_

He brings the cup of coffee to his lips and takes a sip, puts it back down and licks his lips. He's very curious what Naruto is going to say to that. Actually, he wonders whether Naruto has anything to say in his defence.

"But I need you to know - _why_! I need you -" Naruto says, slamming his fist against the table, making it rock like a wafting ship in a sea storm.

"_Stop it_, Naruto"

Underneath the table, Sasuke presses his hands so harshly against each other that his knuckles are reddened. He takes a deep breath, thinking why of all days, of all frigging weeks, he's got to listen to shite now. In fact, he wonders why he has to do anything. He's so tired.

"I don't want to know, Naruto. I just don't want to know," Sasuke finally answers, shocked at how _broken _he sounds. Like he'd been through hell or something. Oh wait, it's just the appropriate description.

"Sasuke-"

He'd laugh at the tone in Naruto's voice if he weren't so sick. He'd tear his heart out, scratch his eyes raw, kick him in the balls and dismember his manhood if he could, make him _bleed, bleed, bleed._

He'd do a lot of things, if he didn't feel so tired and resigned. And Sasuke, despite contemporary belief, is not a sadist.

"Please, I don't want to hear. Just _please_."

Sasuke has never begged for anything in his life before, and he knows that this - if anything - shocks the core out of Naruto. After all, he's put up a grand display of being proud - insurmountably so - and that Naruto doesn't know this side of him.

(Naruto never saw him crying, never caught him because he always made sure it was when he was asleep before the tears came oozing out).

He knows why Naruto did it. He knows that Naruto, who pretends to be so strong and unbreakable, couldn't take it anymore.

_I know that you couldn't stand the thought of me dying. It was all there, was there in how you couldn't meet my eyes, in how you couldn't bring yourself to hold me anymore, how you couldn't kiss me unless I initiated it ..._

_I'm not angry about that, Naruto. I was - am - scared too. I'm so scared that it's killing me, that I can't sleep at nights because I fear I won't ever wake up again._

_So no, I can't blame you. Not for being afraid._

_But I wish you'd confined your sorrows in me, instead of going to her. I wish you'd ... stayed with me. _

But he doesn't say any of this because the mask has cracked, the train has left the station and it's just _too late._

"You can go back and fuck her as merrily as you like. Forget about me all you wish; it's not like I'll be around long enough to care anyway."

"Sasuke! I'm - I wouldn't do something like that - I'm so sorr-" Naruto starts spewing out - _quickly, quickly, quickly, unfurling his sentences like a tape roll _- as if he fears that his voice shall fail him soon and that his message will be drowned in silence unless he doesn't get his words out rapidly enough.

It's pathetic. It's so bloody pathetic that Sasuke wants to spit at him, but doesn't.

Instead, Sasuke laughs hollowly. "But you see? You did. It doesn't matter how sorry you are because you did. So don't tell me you're sorry. It's not enough."

And, once you've done something, Sasuke thinks, you can't take it back because life just can't be a series of "going backs". No, you have to move onwards - not back.

Life is simply too short for that.

--


End file.
